Why God, Have You Given Me This Feeling Heart

Why, God?

Why have you given me this feeling heart?

I see what others won’t.

I feel what others can’t.

I sense what others don’t.

Why, God?

I’m trapped in this knowing; in

this seeing, in this feeling.

----

Who do I tell?

Where do I speak?

It always feels like an uphill climb to voice these truths.

Why do you place such heavy burdens on my heart?

Why did you plant these knowings inside me?

---

I’m so tired, God.

Do you know, that I’m falling apart, God.

I feel like no one wants it.

---

When I speak, they turn away.

So then who do I speak to?

But I need to believe that

you put these things in my heart

for a reason,

but I can’t see that reason.

I’m overflowing,

and there’s nowhere for the

water to run.

It just spills out,

onto the ground.

---

Where do I take it?

I feel like no one wants it.

Where do I put it?

Tell me.

I need to know.

---

All this weight – my heart hurts.

My lungs hurt.

I’m suffocating in this knowing.

Why did you give it to me?

I need to know.

---

I feel like can’t carry it anymore.

I'm afraid, I don’t want to feel this alone, God.

They seem to not want what I have to offer.

----

So why do I keep seeking.

what they don’t want?

Where do I go?

Tell me where to go.

I need to know.

----

Reflection:

I felt so bad on this day. I just couldn't stop crying.

I kind of felt like crying just reading the poem out loud. That feeling of loneliness combined with the emotional intensity. Why does it feel so horrible. I'm grateful for this newfound self expression though. It's been helping alot, before - everything just felt stuck on the inside. Grateful for expression! And people reading! In this together :)