Why Am I Like This?

I don’t know what it is or why it happens, but once again I’m back to feeling lonely. Not lonely as in I don’t have my parents or my family, but lonely as in I don’t have someone who always understands, who will comfort me no matter what, who always longs for me. I want that, and I know I may not be in the best space for that right now but that doesn’t stop me from writing romance stories, creating what my heart aches to have even if it’s only on paper. I don’t know how long I can stay like this until it becomes too much. It’s just hard and I don’t know why I care so much. Maybe it’s just our instinct, what we crave as humans. But I hate it, with my whole being. I hate feeling sad for no reason and feeling like there’s a part of me missing because I haven’t met someone who will bend the rules for me, or walk me home, or just hold my hand. It’s almost embarrassing to admit that I feel like I need that person to be my best self, but maybe it's because they’re close by. Maybe I’m still not over Him. Maybe I’m just your average hopeless romantic who can’t function without a minimal amount of affection.

Maybe I’m broken.