Who I Used to Be
A Story in a Glass
I swirl the milk into my Thai iced tea,
Bright orange leaks down to swallow translucence.
I don't remember who I used to be.
***
Through the haze of scrupulosity
Peeks between earth a green shoot of innocence.
I swirl the milk into my Thai iced tea.
***
On the edges of her memory,
Drops of freedom cleanse her from life's viciousness.
I don't remember who I used to be.
***
When she wanders through that hallowed library,
She shrinks under the burden of experience.
I swirl the milk into my Thai iced tea.
***
She suffers not for my disloyalty,
Rough hands raw and bare of recompense.
I don't remember who I used to be.
***
My wayward girl, where is your bravery?
There will never be an ideal audience.
I swirl the milk into my Thai iced tea.
I don't remember who I used to be.
About the Creator
Harbor Benassa
I carry a piece of the things that I love wherever I go. I love short fiction, chocolate ganache, forensic science, and, aptly, the water.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
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Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
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Arguments were carefully researched and presented
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Comments (37)
Congrats on your win! Beautiful writing. 💜
Well just scouting around to find the different poetry challenges. I had never heard of villanelle poetry, I have learned a lot of different types since my journey began on vocal. Nicely done, I will have to try to learn how to do this particular type of poetry.
Gorgeous
A great capture of that state of melancholy! It can really be felt in the reading of it.
Love how the imagery is swirled through, just like the milk swirling through the tea. It's a follow from me 😊
This is so beautiful and filled with so much heartbreak and emotion. Beautifully done. So many of these lines I just wanted to linger over. Congratulations!! This is such a well-deserved win.
This was wonderful. Very elegantly written. Congratulations!
Beautiful
I really want a Thai milk tea after this. Wonderful use of imagery.
Congrats on your win! I love the repeated action of "swirling the milk into my Thai iced tea" throughout - it brings the meter and beat of the villanelle rhyme structure to life!
Outstanding, congratulations. 😀👍🍁
This was masterfully done. Congrats on the win!
Congratulations very well deserved! Beautiful!
Congratulations on your win!
Congratulations ! Well deserved !
This is powerful, meaningful, and so wonderfully done! Congratulations! 🤗 Very well-deserved 🤗
Gosh. This totally deserved to win. Great writing. Well done.
Congratulations!
A haunting villanelle in the ordinary moments with Rich descriptions. Well done and congrats on your prize! 😁👏🥳
Congratulations!
Love that last stanza
Congrats! Lovely poem
What lovely imagery. It was a well-deserved win. Congratulations!
Congratulations! Really captivating lines and a beautifully executed villanelle!
Congratulations on your win!