where i go to think, i go to die
a poem about shame
heartbeats and warm tears with head in hands
i sit in this silence like a hospital waiting room
sometimes when i think about myself
it feels like someone just died
my shame is both the pit in my stomach
and the apple of my eye
i cherish it; i kiss it on the mouth like a lover
i tend to it like a beautiful flower, and i will
until the day it blossoms into something terrible
something that will eat me alive
even so, i cannot let it go
i can’t release it like a bird free flying
and i can’t let it slip too far away,
lest i forget myself
so i hold it close, hold it dear, a treasured secret
this thing that will kill me, truly, has not
i have done it; i have killed me
and shame will only consume what is left
About the Creator
angela hepworth
Hello! I’m Angela and I enjoy writing fiction, poetry, reviews, and more. I delve into the dark, the sad, the silly, the sexy, and the stupid. Come check me out!
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Comments (12)
This is a beautiful poem. Very hard hitting.
Such heaviness to this! Masterfully woven, Angela!
This is a stunning piece. These lines in particular stood out, "sometimes when i think about myself / it feels like someone just died". It's such a remarkably complex feeling but you wrap it up so perfectly. Really beautiful writing.
Profound, poignant and as well written as always. I know I shouldn't assume, but there's such an intensity to it, it makes me wonder. I hope you're okay. Just know that you shine brighter than any shade of shame. 💛
"until the day it blossoms into something terrible" I know you're talking about that beautiful flower but I especially loved the way you used blossomed in a negative shade. I hope you're doing okay. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️
Well written! I love the analogy of Shame blossoming into something terrible that can eat you alive!
Such a powerful poem. Your words always make me think and see things differently. Wishing you all the best.
Pretty deep and so full of uncertainty. Excellent writing!!!
Stunning work Angela!
Deep and thought provoking.
Heartbreaking and lovely
Well-wrought! That which shames us can be given a name and exorcised from our own personal shrine. Our past need not be our present, nor our present our future.