What I Wished I Believed

“What I wished I believed”

I wished I believed in aiding people that didn't look like me.

I wished that I believed that we were all created in a burning ball of hot lava that randomly arose out the atmosphere and created man.

I wish I believed in just flowing with the currents of the ocean without a care in the world because I didn't have a book

regulating me not to.

The same text that contracts me to despise gays.

I wished I believed in praying for the finer things instead of contentment

I wished I believed in premarital sex.

I wished that wedlock was just a word.

I wished I could eat pork with no regrets.

I wished these beliefs were no longer used to to manipulate and conform my people.

I wished my conscious self did not conflict with my more religious being.

But now I Just wish to understand.