What I Don't Say When You Call
Because I still wish things could be different.
I talk to you
like I’m threading a needle
with frayed string—
careful not to tug too hard,
careful not to bleed.
We stay in the shallows now.
You ask about the baby,
the weather,
what I made for dinner.
I give you answers wrapped in bubble wrap.
Nothing sharp.
Nothing real.
But I remember
when I needed more than that.
When I came to you
splintered,
and you handed me silence
or scripture
or shame.
You taught me
how to fold my hurt
into paper cranes
and send them flying
where no one could touch them.
Not even you.
There were days
you were fire
and I was the nearest thing that could burn.
Other days,
you were ice
and I bruised myself
trying to break through.
I don’t blame you
as much as I used to.
But the ache has settled—
a soft rot
under the floorboards of my chest.
I wanted to tell you
about the dreams I gave up.
The therapy.
The way I still flinch
when someone raises their voice
in just the right key.
I wanted to tell you
about the guilt I carry
like a second heartbeat—
how I sometimes hear your voice
when I scold my daughter,
and I stop,
and I kneel,
and I cry
because I promised myself I wouldn’t.
But I don’t say any of that.
Instead, I tell you
she said “mama” today.
And you laugh like we’re fine,
like there isn’t a river between us
filled with everything
we never learned to swim through.
I mourn you
like someone still living.
And that’s the part
I’ll never say out loud.
About the Creator
Carolina Borges
I've been pouring my soul onto paper and word docs since 2014
Poet of motherhood, memory & quiet strength
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Comments (30)
This is certainly the cream of the crop! This is haunting. Congratulations on your greatly-deserved challenge win. ⚡ 💙Bill ⚡
Finally got around to reading this, congrats on a well deserved win.
I grew up in a Conservative Baptist household. This is exactly my relationship with my mother, though the condemnation was a silent sheet of ice. With my daughters, I always want to be there for them in a way that I didn't have. Congratulations on the win, but more, congratulations on saying all that aloud.
This deeply resonates with me as I navigate the "river" of emotions between my mother and I. She has been sick after 81 years of perfect health and I was flooded with tears after reading your tender, meaningful poem.
This was quietly devastating in the best way. The paper cranes and "soft rot under the floorboards" hit hard. So much emotion in so few words. Beautifully done—well deserved win, Carolina 👏🖤
Raw, honest, and open. Carolina, this is packed with so much vivid imagery, that perfectly illustrates the sadness that lingers. "a soft rot under the floorboards of my chest." stuck out to me, as did the fire/ice contrast, the needle into thread, the bubble wrap, and the repetition of "nothing" and "careful". This was a sobering, but excellent read. Well done😊
Caroline, congratulations on your win. Your poetry is so beautiful and heart-touching. My favorite part: " You taught me how to fold my hurt into paper cranes and send them flying where no one could touch them. Not even you."
Eacellent poetry
Definitely REAL 🫶🏾I felt it
Phenomenal writing Carolina! Congratulations on your win! This was a fabulous entry! 🎉🎉🎉🎉
Incredibly moving! Congratulations on your well deserved win 🥹🌟
Wonderfully expressed, deep poem.
Congratulations on a well-deserved win. The paper crane image, in particular, is so powerful and really touched me. Great job.
Carolina this is stunning and so powerful!!! I think my favorite poem I’ve ever read on Vocal. The weight of your words, tied with the imagery, is gorgeous in such a heavy, sad way. I wanted it to keep going 🥹
Well deserved win!🥇✅ poignantly written. My favourite lines: “You taught me how to fold my hurt into paper cranes and send them flying where no one could touch them. Not even you.”
Stunning work, Carolina! I'm simply impressed by the seamlessness of how the words flowed into sharply clear meanings. Something to be proud of. Super Congrats to you! 🥇
Wooohooooo congratulations on your win! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Lovely! Truly!
Brilliant. Congratulations 👏. "You taught me how to fold my hurt into paper cranes" relatable. "I mourn you like someone still living." Powerful stuff.
Congratulations on your win 🥳
This was so full of emotion and tension. Beautifully written and heartbreaking. Congratulations on a very well deserved win!
As someone who had a tough relationship with her mother, this one hit home. Congratulations on the top spot, you really deserve it! This was beautiful.
This is incredible. Absolutely beautiful work. Congrats!
Tears 😭 for this!! Congrats 🎊 on winning 🥇
Congratulations on your win!