Water

When I was little

We never went to the beach,

Or the lake,

Or the river

In fact, the very idea that,

Anything was larger than the creek behind my house

Was foreign to me

I knew it existed,

But I didn’t really…

I’d never seen it

But when I did, I still remember the fear

Walking up to the edge of the cool water

The grit of the sand

The heat of the sun

The smell of fish

The knowledge that the waves could pull me in

Take me away

But the thing that stays with me the most

Is the feeling

I felt calm

I felt at peace

I never knew that

Never understood it anyway

I could have stood there for hours

Just staring out at the endlessness

Knowing that there was something on the other side of that

Something else that I could see

It made me realize how small I was

It made me realize how big I was

I guess that’s the beginning

I went back,

Searching

For that feeling again

I returned to the very spot

Same time of day

Same day of the year

But it wasn’t the same

Something was missing

Maybe I just needed a different beach

Maybe I don't need a beach

But I still kept searching

Looking around

Questioning if I’ll ever feel so small again

Someday

Somehow

I’d feel that again

That endlessness

That serenity

That hope

But if that was the only time

I wish I had taken more

Just a few seconds

To really memorize it

To really embrace it

Before I ran off

I hiked up a mountainside

The rough rocks digging into my hands

The leaves provide shade

The nutty, floral scent on the wind

Then there at the top

The sun sets below the horizon

And then that feeling arose once again

And I knew it wasn’t endlessness

I felt that day

Rather I was

Complete