At the Bookstore

I first saw you at the bookstore

Months of texting culminating in that first moment

Days filled with vulnerability and laughter

Hours of silly photos and odd Tik Toks

Bunny videos and cat dramas

Books, games, and basketball

Family, dreams, and needs.

During those first months, I envisioned

how it would feel to meet you

If I would recognize you

If it would feel as natural in person

Would conversation be filtered?

Would we not know what to say?

Would nerves get in the way?

The wait before I saw you was tense

Knotted stomach and sweaty palms

Aimless strolling without seeing

Picking spines off shelves

While my own swivels every time the door opens

Surrounded by vanillin escapes and bitter coffee

Seeing your pink sweater and jeans

The heart calms and breath steadies

Chatter and rustling dissipate

Every crevice of my being thrums

As I watch you approach

Sparks shimmer up my arms

A mirror soul stares back

I first saw you in the book store

Walls filled with happy endings

Hopes and dreams of others' imaginations

Yet those stories I held so dear told me lies.

That I was worthy of a fairytale kind of love

And for a moment it felt real.

Our first hug felt too short

I didn’t want to let you go

Our first kiss left me wanting more

I melted in your arms

Our first misunderstanding dropped me

I didn’t see it coming

Our last conversation left me shattered

I wanted to keep going

But I’ll always have when I first saw you

The outside world ceased to matter

The smallest touch set me aflame

When everything stilled

When all was novel

When all was ardent

When all left me animated

When all left me breathless

When wistful was just a word in a book