Warped Identity

Nestled deep inside resides an ancient ache,

buried since the dawn of time

A concoction of caged emotions,

imprisoned beyond translucent bars

Piled high and brimming with darkness,

A misunderstood, suppressed voice

Language too obscure to penetrate,

as eternal tears, permeate

Amalgamated fears

Amalgamated stories

Stalagmite and stalactite formations,

stem from censored dreams

Desired to be loved,

accepted,

cherished,

acknowledged for a sacred existence

The core of her essence,

atrophied by shuddered ricochets of rejection

Forever searching for truth,

for wisdom,

a compassionate serape of love

She pines to create orderly shapes,

from formlessness perception

Inconceivable betrayal,

begets innermost immortal hurt

Back Story

Growing up with dysfunctional parents — an estranged, alcoholic father, who was emotionally unavailable — took its toll on my emotional health. He consistently denied my worth and specialness.

Over the years, my needs were chronically ignored, and so my heart became buried in a numbness of self.

After a time, I didn’t even know how to discern what was right for me — I had been emotionally and physically rejected, silenced, and buried alive in a dungeon deep within. Even to this day, I am still trying to find the words to understand my emotions.

© Chantal Weiss 2025. All Rights Reserved