Untitled

I stare in the mirror and my reflection is hidden behind heartache, blood from the knife of backstab and, Red lipstick

I can hardly make out the face let alone the physique of this bruised, battered, and broken woman that I once knew

A stranger? Or woman endangered? Through this thick tension of silence, I’m suffocating in, I still feel something familiar

Perhaps it is the tempo of her breathing

Or the rise and fall of her chest heart beating

Or is it her perfect teeth, once smile shine bright

Now invisible from mouth closed shut tight

I’m not quite sure what or why but I feel like I’ve seen this woman before, I knew this woman at one

point in time

If only I could rewind time

I scrub and rub this mirror clean until the reflection vividly beams

I know this woman because this woman is me

I smile in the mirror only she doesn’t smile back

I laugh only she doesn’t laugh back

Because she is trapped in the past

They tell me you have such a pretty smile Nona, SMILE PRETTY NONA

They tell me you are so pretty Nona, LOOK PRETTY NONA

Your laugh is contagious, LAUGH MORE NONA

Be MORE NONA

STOP MOPING NONA

MORE HOPING NONA

YOU’RE MORE THAN ENOUGH NONA

BE MORE TOUGH NONA

YOU’RE STILL DEPRESSED NONA

LESS STRESS NONA

YOU’RE MOM IS SO STRONG NONA

YOU’RE YOUR MOTHERS DAUGHTER STRENGTH IS WITHIN YOU NONA

Don’t GIVE UP NONA

LOOK NOWHERE BUT UP NONA

YOU’RE A GOOD GIRL AND GOOD GIRLS Don’t FEEL LIKE THIS GOOD GIRLS DONT HURT

GOOD GIRLS FONT CURSE

WELL MAYBE IM NOT GOOD

I HURT

I CURSE

I LIE AND SAY IM FINE

INSIDE I CRY, inside I die

Of course, I keep my smile but no teeth, can’t show I’m weak

My pillow has become my diary

He knows all my secrets

He catches all my tears

He knows my pain but doesn’t tell

He knows me all too well

At the end of the night, I lay in my pillows arms and confess all my lies

Tears flow uncontrollably from my eyes

But when I awake, it’s time to fake

Be brave Nona, you’re brave Nona

Don’t slave to your pain Nona

Don’t make mistakes Nona

Be good Nona

You’re good Nona

But am I? Because he’s not

Who am I?

Because I’m in shock

So, confused by my present don’t know who I am anymore

Lost in discomfort forgot how joy feels

Drowning in irritation, forgot how calm feels

Distracted by chaos, forgot what peace feels like

But Kendrick said we gon’, we gon’ be alright

But are we? And Am I?

I stare in the mirror and my reflection is hidden behind heartache, blood from the knife of backstab and, Red lipstick

I know exactly who’s reflection that is

She is me and you is we, and we are not okay

So, let’s fight to be okay