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I didn’t see your brutality
Coming, I just noticed how your
Empathy had begun to
Melt away and vanish
Our ending was your
Turned back and my
Empty hands
(I stayed
Soft)
About the Creator
Poppy
poetry in progress
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insight
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Standing While Falling
Quotation from Friedrich Nietzsche "He who wrestles long with monsters should beware lest he himself become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. Man is not destroyed by suffering, but by the meaning he makes of it."
By LUCCIAN LAYTH6 days ago in Critique
Comments (13)
I like the way you put the last two lines in brackets, it changed the tone and really added to the overall impact of this nonet. I felt the narrators crushed soul cracking through out the piece but those last two lines... just ends it for me!! Beatiful work here Poppy!!
The last two lines are so interesting. It feels like they're whispered behind the turned back to the reader. So cool!
Striking closing lines! Such a stark contrast
Staying soft cannot be a bad thing.
So the hurt and lack of empathy didn't harden you. Great job, Poppy.
My new favorite! Love love love this one 💜👏
Disappearing empathy makes me feel they never really had it in the first place. Very well done.
That turned back hurts so much. Loved your poem!
The imagery of disappearing empathy and unresolved endings resonates with a bittersweet sense of vulnerability and resilience， excellent work, love it, thanks for sharing!
Very touchingly written Poppy. Nice job.
Stay soft and strong. Beautiful
Well done 👍🏼… especially liked: “ your Empathy had begun to Melt away and vanish”
Epic lines