Twisted Love

I’m texting you dear as your new fiancé

And hoping we’ll see eye to eye

I have an idea that will double your pay

Since YOU’RE pay is reason to cry

Each sport and each game that I’m wanting to watch

Without interruptions by you

Your money from work’s getting kicked up a notch

Cos here’s what I’m willing to do

Each NFL game you’re not bending my ear

Means a C-note will be by the fridge

And while you are up you could grab me a beer

If there’s queso, please bring me a smidge

March Madness is crazy, my bracket could win

I picked three in the last Final Four

I’ll often do pizza with crust super thin

When the bell rings, please answer the door

Remember if golf is on, think what you’ll earn

Each tournament lasts for four days

Consider the money you’re able to turn

And how often this supplement pays

With friends coming over, the jokes will commence

You know they’re just kidding around

You hate watching sports but they mean no offense

It’s just likely the booze that they downed

Stop stressing we’ll never have time on our own

Don’t worry our love will go flat

That night on the town when we’re chilling alone

I will always trade soccer for that

The Olympics this summer won’t likely be fun

With your gossiping friends making noise

I’ll give you the credit card, shop ‘til you’re done

So Bob, you can hang out with your “boys”