TO WHOM

Thinking back when I was me …

I don’t remember having to think about tomorrow or what-ifs.. till my children came along. I don’t remember having to think about fancy or different meals or a clean house till my husband came along.

I don’t remember wondering how much time is left till my parents left.

I don’t remember thinking when will be the next time I see my brothers and sister till everyone was gone. I brought myself to holiday decorating and even making an ofrenda something new just because nothing seems quite right. The more I try to be me, the more confused I get. I think it's time that I think of myself. It's time to face the fact that all has changed in a matter of over six or so years. I think ill be more creative, to keep my mind from thinking, because the more I think the more I get lost in the what. What happened? It seems like every time I take a breathe the life gets sucked from within, and I can't breathe. My chest gets hot and the sound seems to get distant. My eyes watered and I didn't know why or how to stop it just within seconds. I lose myself. It's time I send my mind and thoughts to the back and keep going for myself because now that the holidays are coming I have to be there for my family. They need me. and I know I need them. To whom it may concern I’m taking back me.