Thoughts

Can we actually record our thoughts?

Like, the moment something pops up, there’s an automated button in the brain to keep it safe, lest we forget?

Do we have vaults up there?

Where thoughts are sorted into compartments so they don’t collide?

I ask that I may know.

There are days we have happy thoughts – unknowing to ourselves, we reminisce, and smile but like a fleeting moment, it slips away.

Oh, how we wish it could always stay, somewhere up there so we could always reach for it.

There are days we cannot even lay hold of a thought for a moment. Like the speed of light, legions of thoughts run through our minds, leaving us abysmally confused.

For on those days, we do not know how to hold on to any, we do not know how we feel. Sad, happy, or …

And then, on the worse days of all, there are no thoughts – nothing, just emptiness.

Like a blank page, we stare into void, hallows and deep with no end.

Then we struggle, trying to reach, to remember, anything.

Anything would be better than emptiness.

Fear and trepidation set in - for the more we dig, the emptier it becomes.

Suddenly, a sharp piercing pain – numbness.

We struggle to reach for something, anything, but we cannot find the vaults.

Where do they go when we need them, those random thoughts?

Why don’t they know when to pop up and save us from the misery of nothingness?

When will civilization get this far, or has it already?

If only our thoughts could be recorded, we’d be surprised at how much we think, when we think them and mayhap, how better to apply them.

For man’s mind is a mystery, an entangled web of problems and solutions – if only we knew how to hold onto our thoughts.

For today, I so desperately need to – my mind’s racing at a pace unknown to men.

Thoughts I want for keep's sake – but now, I am helpless.