This Numb

i tired writing this seriously

i wasn't even joking

i moved the ciggy from behind my ear

i wasn't even smoking

i don't know what i was doing

or even why i had a durry

it wasn't even a roll your own

yet my prize was fraught with worry

there was something about this cigarette

and the carcinogenic thoughts in me that it aroused

i pondered this serious seasonal silliness

and old anecdotes i once espoused

it could have been a time machine

it could have been a fever dream

it could have been anything it chose

instead it just left me with this silent scream

but this numb, this temporal malady

it is in my mind and not on the page

it has an opaque subtle ripple

they are supposed to be all the rage

but this numb, this tranquil diversion

this polite excuse for exhilarating exclusion

this piped effluent of no discernable direction

the sub atomic fusion is no cheap illusion

there will be a winnowing among men

some will rise and some will fall

they didn't learn so it has to burn

and they want to burn it all!