These Walls

These walls have witnessed the rawness of my soul stripped bare,

The leakage of my eyes I hide securely from the outside,

Outside - a place where no one seems to care,

Walking ignorantly blinded, although their eyes are open wide,

These walls are my solitary shelter where I can hide,

Real in my inner battle, I let them see me,

The real me in all my veracious, naked glory,

Naked from the layers I wear for protection,

These walls are my sanctuary and precious salvation,

Exposed from the mask that weighs heavy on my face,

They preserve my secrets and conceal my lies,

The realness of a raw and unforgiving place,

The stormy seas upon which my emotions capsize,

These walls don’t judge that side of me,

They accept me for every part of me,

Even when I’m completely broken,

And my disturbed words are silently spoken,

In a world where I feel ashamed to bare my soul,

To admit when I’m drowning in a dark and desolate hole,

When my well-rehearsed mask is starting to slip,

When my hold on reality loses its tightened grip,

These walls clutch the echoes of my painful brokenness,

Absorbed within the thickness of the rock-solid bricks,

Witness to the trauma of my unregulated mess,

Caused by self-inflicted, toxic inner conflicts,

Only these walls know the real, raw reality,

Of the darkest emotions I allow them to see,

Unmasked, they witness my pure vulnerability,

They allow me to release the pent-up, noxious, tension freely,

When I scream out in pain as I can’t take no more,

When the tears overflow like drops in a downpour,

When it gets too much that I struggle to breathe,

These walls hold space with no threat to deceive,

My torment is absorbed, and, in these walls, it stays,

Safe and protected from this world’s cruel ways,

As I wipe my tears and all traces of the pain,

Ready to step outside once again,

If they knew the real, raw, undiluted me

If my manic meltdowns, all could see,

They’d talk in whispers saying she’s crazy,

Stay well away from that demented lady,

Thus, within these walls my truth will remain,

So, others don’t certify me as clearly insane,

Conforming with the monotonous march of the sheep,

The truth of my morbid misery deep down I’ll keep,

These walls will keep my secrets concealed within,

Deep inside the contours of its hardened skin,

Gifting me the release that I so desperately seek,

I’m so incredibly grateful that these walls can’t speak!