These Days

These days..

I never know what to write

Never know what to say

It's easier to lie than say you not ok.

Has my life always been this way?

These Days.

Would you truly hear me If I told you I was "tired"

Or has your expectations of me got your mind hard- wired

on who you want me to be instead of who I am trying to make you see.

Me. The Real Me.

It hurts,

Having the most open eyes but feeling unseen.

It's deafening,

Being the most intentional listener but feeling like nobody hears you.

These walls rise, My voice grows silient.

I am tired.

This part of my life is painful to watch.

Seeing myself growing complacent.

My path and pain advancing adjacent.

Somedays I just don't feel alive.

Life these days feels like passing time and waiting to die.

And I have grown cormfortable in my dysfunction I won't lie.

The lows descend deeper,

the mountains grow steeper.

My heart's cracks enhance with time.

My emotional fraility immensifies with every failed try.

My now crooked wings limit my ability to fly.

Perplexed perspectives distorts my sight.

I have stopped believing but as we say,"Everything will be alright".

My voice is slowly growing silient

My heart is becomming calaused to violence.

Ingnorance is easier than defiance.

But these fists remain backed up as I am constantly reminded the world was never fighting for me.

So Young child..

I am sorry you have had to hold on so long.

I am sorry,

help skipped you because the world already labelled you as "strong".

It is funny how the biggest saviour's are the ones who often needed the most saving all along.

So I am writing this one,

Apologizing on the behalf of those who did you wrong.

Since nobody has..

Learn to see yourself.

Since nobody has..

Listen to yourself.

Since the world hasn't

Chose yourself.