Here it comes again that feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach - the feeling of wanting but not having. As I just lay down constant thoughts and emotions just keeping rolling around in my head - I say to myself this is always going to be a constant battle. I'm very sure I am not the only mother in this world that has experience the things that I consistently go through on a day to day basis - but yet again let me remind myself that I am still a mother regardless of who I may be mothering too. Man the thirst of wanting to mother makes me sea sick. " Oh well" at least I am able to mother Kobe, at least I am able to attend and care for Flash and Mocha Latte. But most importantly I am not just a mother of my own bearings I am a mother to all I hold dear to my heart. Motherhood just doesn't stop with your own kids due to mother nature running it's course my motherly instincts will never leave me. The thirst for mothering is like the thirst you feel on a hot summer day the thirst never goes away.
About the Creator
Rachel Stokes
I have been writing poetry and short stories since I was level years old. I mostly like to speak about my life experiences and my view point on life. I can go off of any subject or topic. I’m always open for topic suggestions.
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Free Spirit
I can still remember like it just happened this very day. Ring ring ring I missed the first two phone calls. Checking my phone about a hour later I decided to listen to my voicemail - “Rachel it’s your mom call me it’s very important. As I sit on the edge of my bed I take a deep breath and ask myself what can possibly be so important. Ring ring ring “Hello mom is every okay - the phone call went silent for a few seconds - then my heart dropped. Rachel your grandma is in the hospital - “What” Why? What happened is she okay? Another moment of silence this time with soft sniffles. Tears just started flowing down my cheeks - I knew at that very moment that this time my grandmother really wasn’t doing great at all. I knew deep down inside my soul that soon she will be flying with the Angels into the gates of heaven. I decided I needed to talk to her since I wouldn’t be able to see her due to Covid-19 - I at least need to have one more conversation with her in regardless of it was going to be really brief. “ Hey grandma how are you feeling?” A short sigh I am okay - this is her normal response to this question - no voice change or anything of that kind.” Rachel I want to tell you not to worry I am going to be just fine” Are you sure grandma? I reply back to her - Yes she replies in a lower tone of voice - I love you grandma - I love you too. It wasn’t until around midnight that grandma went to be with the Lord. The news came the very next morning, as I replayed our calls the day before I came to understand that she was letting me know that she was ready to go. I was the last person whom she talked to, and I cherish that last conversation everyday of my life. The feeling of knowing that she is free from all pain and suffering allows me to continue to live more healthier then I ever had before.
By Rachel Stokes4 years ago in Poets
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