The Salesman

You sold me a fantasy, love too good to be true

I, love starved, spent every last cent of hope and trust and gambled my heart away

I was the sun you revolved around, the only air you breathed

I didn’t understand when I slowly fell from grace

Not all at once, but slowly

Word by word, action by action

You took them away

The Facebook posts

The random flirty texts throughout the day

The long video calls when we were apart

The endless date nights

The constant compliments

The nights spent gazing at the stars

The nights spent talking, learning the intricate details of each other’s souls

The nights spent listening to music while reveling in delight at the touch of each other’s skin

The hours spent devouring each other’s thoughts & bodies

The sweet messages written into steamed up mirrors

The little gifts, the focused time and attention, the effort

The heat, the desire, the passion (God, I miss the passion)

You called me crazy , you called me insecure when I asked why and placated me with your hypnotizing voice of velvet spewing reassuring half truths that I was a fool for believing (I don’t even recognize you anymore)

Vows of rectification slip from your smooth tongue, forming word tentacles that slither into my brain, trying to silence the alarms sounding within (am I really crazy?)

I am a prisoner, kept alive by the scraps of promise you occasionally toss in my cage

A hostage of my own will, waiting for a dead man to return

I still long for those days filled with intoxicating love, when the only reflection in your eyes was me.

Starvation clouds the mind and judgement

If I could go back in time, I would have looked closer

I should have looked closer

I should have looked closer