The Greatest of Sinners
For the Vocal "I Didn't Say That Out Loud" Challenge

I'll see you when the wrath comes,
marbled in flesh with tales to tell,
for I have earned a ticket to those hellish gates.
For what? Now isn't that the question;
poor, sweet, little ol' me.
The spoilsport of parties,
but always the one to bring the ride.
The cock-block,
but always the one to lend an ear.
The over emotional buzz-kill,
but always the one to keep your secrets.
No, never once have I sinned against flesh
that wasn't mine.
Never have I betrayed another's love
that wasn't my own.
Never have I told a lie to another
that I hadn't already told myself.
But, do you see the catch?
I did not chase after sin through others -
no, I carved it into my own skin;
wantonly, like an animal.
Years of abuse of every kind wrought against me:
emotional, psychological, physical, mental -
all aimed at me like a loaded shotgun.
Drug abuse, torture, aggravated assault, manslaughter by negligence.
The criminal was always me, but the victim
was also me.
So, I'll see you when the wrath comes,
free from the ghosts I never wronged,
ravaged by the marks of the beast within -
the greatest of sinners.
About the Creator
Amanda Starks
Fantasy writer, poet, and hopefully soon-to-be novelist who wants to create safe spaces to talk about mental health. Subscribe to my free newsletter at www.amandastarks.com for updates!
RE:SURGENCE now available for download!
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters



Comments (7)
Oh, Amanda, I’ve missed your writing. Such a powerful piece for this challenge. The lines about being the criminal and the victim really hit home. ❤️
I'd join you in this anti-approbation, but I've never been the greatest at anything. Still, I feel this deeply.
Very relatable.
sending the huggiest of hugs also amazing! :)
Wow, the pain of self-blame. Pain that really shouldn't be yours. Such strong emotion, love the rawness of it.
Heavy heavy. A great entry to the challenge. I can feel the emotion
This is some heavy stuff. You really dig into the complex idea of being both victim and perpetrator. It makes you think about how self - harm and self - destruction can be so intertwined.