The Generational Curse

I didn't want to raise you on yelling and pain

When you were growing and learning

I should have been nurturing and loving

But

But I wasn't raised on love and joy and nurture.

I didn't want to raise you like I was raised.

I wanted to break a cycle I was a part of.

But I wasn't raised to be loving and kind

So you were taught the same.

I wanted to raise you differently than I was.

I'd put my phone down and take you to the park.

I wanted to be better than my parents.

I finally realized why he liked the computer more than me.

I didn't want you to become like them.

I didn't want to continue this cycle

But

Cycles can't break when you don't know anything else.

I raised you how I was raised

Not how you deserved to be raised.

And for that, I'm sorry.

I only knew how to raise in hurt.

I broke cycles and learned too late

And here you are watching us raise them

The way you always deserved

It was too late, and you, too, have learned to hurt.

I hope you continue to watch me grow and strive

Unlearn generations of generational trauma.

I did it all for you

But for you, it was too late

I was too late for you to learn to be a kid

That was raised on love, praise, and positivity

And just like me, you are becoming just like them

And I know your voice in your head is so mean

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

I didn't want to raise you how I was raised

I tried to raise you how I always wanted to be raised

But you can't raise kids in new ways

Without being taught differently.

I just wish I had raised you the way you deserve

And not the only way I knew how.