The Door I Never Opened

I wish I could open the door

And let you in

The home of my daydreams

But I’m afraid

That you would judge me

That it would be too much

I don’t know

I don’t know what goes on in your head

How many more words can I write for you

Until I can’t?

This is madness, is it not?

I write and write

But when we talk

Sometimes, I struggle to speak

Because I befriended silence long ago

I locked the door

And lost the key

I go searching for it sometimes

But then you laugh

And the sound of your laughter

It brings me back to you

Maybe I don’t need to find the key

Maybe the door is unlocked

And all I need to do is open it

Maybe someday, I’ll let you in

I’m nervous, but I feel safe

I’ve never opened this door before

I’m not used to this

I’m used to staring out of the window

Watching life pass me by

And now you’re standing right outside

My hair is a mess

I apply lip balm and fix my hair

I’m in my purple pyjamas

My tee that says, crazy cat lady

I open the door and look at you

I feel cold and warm at the same time

My racing heart, my trembling hands

Words melting on my tongue once again

I’m not used to this

I leave the door open and walk back inside

I sit in silence

Are you real?

Or a figment of my imagination?

I hear footsteps. I look up

You walk around the room

Observing every little thing

I’m warm and cold at the same time

I wonder what it would be like

To hold your hand

But I don’t say a word

I sit in silence

You’re here now

And I don’t mind waiting.

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