The Dark Wood

"Midway in our life's journey, I went astray/from the straight road and woke to find myself alone in a dark wood"

They congratulated me for my sparkling teaching evaluations

And my peer reviewed, published research

They assured me that this was all quite impressive

But insisted that I must slay that savage, sleepless monster

The dreaded defense of the doctoral dissertation

The last trial before you don the coveted cap and gown

Of the fabled PhD

This I accomplished, though my scars are as numerous

As my debts

I managed also to secure that coveted mark of pedagogical proficiency

The award for excellent teaching

I loved teaching with irrational, quixotic intensity

Grudgingly, they increased the number of courses assigned to me

Never a second, third or fourth year class, of course

Those are reserved for full time, continuing faculty

Some of whom do not have an award for excellent teaching

Or any, peer reviewed publications to speak of

In fact, at least one lacks the PhD

They will let anyone teach creative writing

I carried on as best I could, keeping my resentful grumbling

To a polite minimum

And then, the bloody curtain of the plague came down

Cleanly dividing my strange little life, like so many, into acts

The second had begun in a mask

We all know how the third ends

No one survives

Education became a confrontation with a gallery of virtual ghosts

Exiled each to our own abodes, we washed our hands too often

Certain that the civilization that every teacher's efforts help to sustain

Would keep the hour of the red death from being struck a final time

Each of us a giddy and deluded Prince Prospero, thinking a hiding place safe

While opening the door for enigmatic, intriguing guests

My health gave way as I swam oceans of turgid prose submitted to me online by frightened, bored, disenchanted youth

I fell behind in my grading, to the chagrin of many

When I was diagnosed with MS

Looks were exchanged

Murmurs proliferated

I saw the moment of my greatness flicker

All of the "emergency changes" called for by the plague

Became permanent

Everything must always be online

Even the face to face experience

Is virtual and remote, now

ChatGPT writes most of the essays I read

But that is the rough water we must sail

Those of us who serve as galley slaves on the good ship, precariat

My assignments dwindled

Rumor and inuendo were fruitful and multiplied

Now I know that I will always be treated like the protagonist

Of a little tragedy

In which a strange nerd with some promise

Fell ill, and then dwindled into dusty doom

Do not believe their tales

Your PhD is merely a ticket

To an almost uncharted hinterland

The nosebleed section of the grand arena

Where you will undertake obscure and thankless toil

Your teaching is only worth something

If you repeat the right, fashionable nonsense

And keep the rubes amused and in the tent

Your publications can be blithely ignored

Unless they do on a grander scale

What they hope your teaching will do

Moving other minds to accept the dogma of the day

It will change, mind you

A chameleon culture is ours

One day a crusader for a cause

The next, its skeptical interrogator

By and by, its vehement and foaming adversary

The foliage changes

One must change with it

Or be awkwardly, dangerously visible

When predation comes calling

In the form of poverty

You too can join the elect

But is that a party to which you wish to be invited?

Beware

Do not mistake contract or sessional or adjunct work

For the sort of work that will win any respect

In the dark wood of contemporary academe

The anointed will patronize and condescend

They will wave their tenure about

Pointing out your lack thereof and sneering

As you do twice their teaching for a fraction of their pay

And hear about their summer vacations as you keep secret the six weeks you spent on the dole

Unsolicited advice will glut your inbox

As you pay off your student loans

Just in time to sicken

And see the Eternal Footman holding your coat and snickering

At the locked door

Of the faculty lounge

Once you are in it, sad pilgrim

Do not fear the beasts of the wood

Descend, courageous, into the depths

So that you might find a way

Having endured ignominy and despair

To rise