That Sound

The cool night air stings like razors carving my skin as I violently toss the covers away in a tangled pile.

That sound!

That horrific, yet familiar sound that has stolen me from the warmth of my dreams, now leaves me jolted upright, legs dangling over the edge of my bed.

Shivering, through my body and the whole of my mind. Shivering and incoherent thoughts prevail.

That sound! There it is again.

BLEUCH…BLEUCHAAA…BLECH BLECH BLECH BLECH BLECH……BLEUCHAAAHHH

I catapult myself off the bed and stumble across the frigid hardwood, weary of every foot placement on landing.

Feeling like a drunk naked mole rat, and quite possibly looking like one, I stretch my still shivering arms; hoping, praying that I will find what I’m looking for before it’s too late.

Where are you, wall?

Where are you, light switch?

My hands reach the smooth painted drywall, moving upward, downward, left, right - searching, searching.

Aha!

I feel the edge of the switch plate, move my fingers to the switch, and my body one step closer to…

Splat, squish, ooze

Warm, gelatinous, slimy fuzziness slides between my toes, cooling as it nestles on the top of my foot in a hairy ball of “what the hell, Abigail!”

I heel-step back across the room to my bed, throw myself down on the edge, and snatch the one remaining Kleenex from the box on my night table.

Damn it!

I penguin-march to the washroom, grab a wad of tissue paper from the roll, and remove what’s left of the disgusting goo from my foot. The warm washcloth that follows settles my stomach as the mild soapy scent replaces the vomit-inducing odor of whatever-the-heck-that-was.

After scraping and mopping the rancid mess off the floor, it’s finally time to shut down the lights, climb back into bed, and find solace in the warmth of my down comforter.

As I lay my head on the pillow, I feel a tiny thump on the mattress and a small, furry grey-and-white head rub against my shoulder.

mew mew

Completely unignorable. No matter how much I try, she’s completely unignorable.

I pull an arm out from under the blankets to scratch her ears as she settles beside me, hoping she’ll soon get bored and move on.

purrrrrr puurrrr purrrrrrrrrrr

The soothing vibration relaxes me and I feel myself slipping back into dreamland as she moves away and jumps off the bed.

Now snuggled, warm and comfy under the covers, near fully asleep, all is right with the world again……. until

That sound!