Terrible Habit

it’s tragically habit

For me to shut down.

And show my true savage

And turn everything around.

I’ve never been quiet

Never worried or was shy

Every soul I sighted

I wanted to teach them to fly

But it seems to be failing ,

My innocent side.

My loud, joyful self

Has been put on the shelf.

I wanna unwind

Just write down my rhymes,

I don’t like to risk

Losing anymore secrets

I can’t seem to fix

All of my wrongs, I did that.

But I can make sure I don’t let

Another opportunity pass.

I need to break myself

Of this Terrible Habit.

Need to hop of out my shell

Like a fucking bunny rabbit.

Call me cottontail.

I’m not trying to apologize

Don’t dare

I just really need a human,

To treat me like a true friend.

Lately I’ve been thinking,

I’m really subliminally selfish...

It’s honest, it’s true

It’s ok, I withdrew.

For the beginning of the end,

I would stand beside

A very best friend.

Someone to help me when I’m down,

Help me when when I’m overwhelmed

Not a hand out, just help,

I don’t even crave to be held,

As bad as I crave myself.

Just to mean something, be something.

Never worry about the habitual,

Or what else I consistently forget to do..

I’m just trying not to have it,

Be one more bad seed,

Of a flower that produces brings,

New things and new pains,

Getting ready to go, that curvy, Same tragically habitual route.

I just can’t understand

Why I have such

A hard time,

And why I can’t find

A real human best friend?