Teach It To Cook

i came home late the other day

to find a parcel at my door

postage stamped Sth America

yeehah i thought to myself SCORE

i raced inside and tore open my package

my heart leaping in my chest

this was going to be better than great

and betterer than the best

but then..........

............. the mrs came in

riding a foaming wave of spit driven hate

"What the fuck have you got there?"

"................and why are you so late?"

it's a Peruvian blow job frog i slowly explained

as clearly and plainly as i could

i told her of an ambiguous amphibian love affair

in small words so she understood

"What do you expect me to do do with that?"

she screeched and moaned some more

so i pointed to the frog and then the kitchen

and then i pointed to the front door

"Don't make me yell and don't make me shout...

just teach it to cook and get the fuck out"