Tales of Torment: Survivor's Fatigue

Silence–

I can't stand it...

and neither, can I sit in it‐

when my environment is quiet,

this space behind my eyes becomes the exact opposite.

There are but only few, loving voices that reach my ear...

and much, much fewer that make their way to my heart-

Why Slumber has been absent...

and why Void's Company stands behind me even as I speak...

is read here,

in this, Tale of Torment–

Whether the noise is internal or external,

on either side of These Walls,

and whether I am in, or outside of my own mind

this life has cultivated for me, a dread that is almost existential.

I'm not so sure

if quietness is something I can anymore believe in,

nor whenever I have last experienced such...

but certainly I have‐

certainly all of this, I speak of isn't really that much, but...

the evidence says otherwise.

Pages in my journal could not be more full-

there's but no end, to what is so much that I must vent.

I certainly do wish...

that all this time

I've just been exaggerating

in my descriptions of this, Burning Paradise–

I almost hate this reality,

its volume,

its sight

and all of its feel‐

I often wish this weren't real...

and to feel, nothing‐

and that, is only one step away,

from another, of my most Dangerous Wishes–

I've grown so, so tired

of writing these Tales of Torment–

But...

I rue the day that my hand stops moving

because I know, that the rest of me will surely follow suit...

and even then, I doubt that any real silence will come–

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