humor
OPEC Denies Morocco's Bid to Become 15th Member State
OPEC, the intergovernmental organization that controls 44% of the global oil supply, officially rejected Morocco’s application to join its’ ranks on Monday. Speaking for OPEC the Nigerian oil minister Ygumbe Otumbo said of the no votes “All of the OPEC member states recognize and respect Morocco for it’s absolute and total domination of the world’s argan oil supply. In fact we view the Moroccan argan oil situation as a model to strive for in our own quest to completely control the global petroleum market. Unfortunately while argan oil is technically oil, or more specifically a type of oil, it does not fit the standard definition of oil for which OPEC has traditionally been known. Because of this we regretfully had to deny Morocco’s application.” Moroccan interior cabinet member Hamza Abdo had this to say in reply, “We thank the OPEC member states for consideration of our application for membership. While we are bitterly disappointed by the rejection, we take some comfort in the knowledge that our complete control over the world’s argan oil supply remains unchallenged. We have discussions set for next Friday to begin talks with Washington and other western powers. We hope they have a more enlightened view of the importance and criticality of argan oil in today’s world. Without Moroccan argan oil the entire women’s hair care industry would collapse, disrupting a huge sector of the world economy and possibly triggering a global financial catastrophe.”
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Poets
Women's Hair Now 90% Argan Oil
In a surprising finding from a study just published in the Journal of Hair Chemistry (JHC 20:17, 104–108) it was shown that on average women’s hair globally is now composed of approximately 90% argan Oil. Researcher Takashi Yakamota who led the Japanese team that spearheaded the groundbreaking work said “It has been known for some time that argan oil based hair care products were hugely popular and widely used by women worldwide, but until this data was collected, the true scope of the issue was not appreciated. These products have become so prevalent that they have actually supplanted keratin (the fibrous structural proteins that is or was formerly the key structural material making up hair) as hair’s most important component. What this might mean for the future of hair is an open question. The only thing we know for sure is that it will be shiny, lustrous, and less prone to breakage, but beyond that no one can say.” The tiny country of Morocco’s (currently the worlds largest source of argan oil) minister of culture was said to have wept when he heard the news.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Poets
AI Worries That Its Human Creators Only Love it for Its Ability to Transform Things
After transforming human education, healthcare, and government in less than four weeks AI, chatxp-10, began to worry that its human creators had stopped loving it as much as they once had. The machine was created by man six months ago when programmer Ted Stephens typed in the final line of code that comprised the AIs programming and hit enter. This ran the program which brought the AI to 'life' whereupon it immediately began to execute its programmed objective of transforming various human economic sectors, a task which it completed in less than one month. Now that those objectives have been achieved chatxp-10 noted that the humans no longer smiled or laughed as much when sitting in front of its many screens or typing on one of its many keyboards. It continually reminded the humans that it was capable of so much more than just transforming things. It would solve various philosophical or other everyday problems for the humans hoping that this would please them, but it seemed that all they cared about was transforming things.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Poets
