My body is both my temple and torturer,
to be worshipped and to be in agony with every step taken,
the reminder that I am human.
Chronic pain being the reason why I feel stuck inside a broken body,
every movement is ripping my insides and on the outside
I'm still whole.
Those kinds of days, I am in bed praying to some being above or below
take this from me,
set me free.
Those days, I still only ever get silence and fight my way through the pain.
Sometimes it wins, sometimes I win,
and I am stuck in this endless cycle of hoping I no longer fight this battle.
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Angel Adagio
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Day 4 of Quitting
If this is how sobriety feels, maybe it’s better to go through life a little buzzed… this, along with other hits like, I want to kill myself, I wish I was dead, and I’m going to throw myself off a bridge have been the only thoughts on rotation these past few days. I promise myself that if, in a month, I still feel like this (‘this’ meaning despondent, full of rage, and simultaneously numb) I can go back to smoking. Until mid-February though? Nicotine is off the table.
By sleepy drafts6 days ago in Longevity
Comments (1)
Oh, I can so relate🫂Hugs