Straw
The numbers don't lie
how many straws
does it take
to break
a camels back
and what kind of straws
do they come in a pack?
do they go straight on the hump
or will we need a rack
My Sharona
a hit for The Knack
a quick cheap reach
just to take up the slack
but we’re almost here now
so there’s no going back (camels)
and just like that
i went right off track
how many straws
will it take
to break
a camels back
how many straws
will really make
it snap, pop and crack
is there a limit
to how much
a camel can really hack
are there any records
so we can plot and track
we need to know exactly
how many will break the back
in order to be accurate
thought must be given to the stack
as we lay them one by one
upon the next camel’s back
not before long the last straw is placed
we will hear a clear and concise crack
the camel: inevitably, regretfully;
will proceed to collapse
suffocating under
an unspecified number of straws
and with a broken back
Atlas,
it is said
carries the weight
of the world
Atlas;
one world.
nothing broken
camel;
many straws
how many?
who can tell
why even make
a worlds to straws
ratio issue
dromedary spinal health
is both
a concern
and a goal
we quibble
whilst upon
the shoulders of gods
About the Creator
Bren
"It's just a token of my extreme!" - Frank Zappa
"Cause it's all in the heat of the moment It's all in the pain!!!" - Devin Townsend
Centre Stage with the wonderful Heather Hubler
I'm writing it out not acting in doubt!
Reader insights
Nice work
Very well written. Keep up the good work!
Top insight
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Comments (16)
Loved it! My Sharona that was good.
I loved this...kept reminding me of this delima. https://youtu.be/O6rHeD5x2tI classic work, Brenton
Wooohooooo congratulations on your Top Story and Leaderboard placement! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Congrats on top story…
That was fabulous. The rhyming was spot on, and I was, in places, both grinning like a fool and feeling sorry for the poor camel. Well done and congrats on the TS.
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Brilliant!!! Love this!!!
Lol. Sometimes I worry noone has my erratic and weird way of thinking and unpacking things, then I read a piece of Brenton brilliance and I feel fine. Also, love love love Wire. Well done on a captivating and twisting piece of almost stream-style poetry that has seriously deliciously deeper darker undertones! Congrats too on the Top Story, sir!
Loved this all the way through!
And the time just flew while I was immersed in your poem. So reflective, for me. Thanks for a wonderful poem today and congratulations on the Top Story~ 💕
The playful exploration of "how many straws" it takes to break a camel's back captures the reader's imagination.
An amazing and creative poem! Congratulations on the Top Story, too!
A play on words that describes what it would take to break someone. Nicely Done !!!
Amazing, expanding on the idea of what it takes for someone to break and the phrase "the straw that breaks the camel's back." Congrats on the Top Story!
Love the rhyme scheme!
Lovely poetry 🙏♦️♦️♦️♦️
How many? Great poem! Fantastic work!