Stay Clean

I'd like my 1st entry on VOCAL+ to be one of TRUTH.

This Poem was something I was able to write while I was on my journey to recovery. That was 10 years ago. I wont go into detail now but I want anyone out there who may be struggling with any kind of addiction, please know you are not alone! If you have a month, a week, even just a day CLEAN cuz no one had anything today.

PLEASE KEEP GOING &

STAY CLEAN!

I walk through the door my back just aches I'm afraid I'll turn to those pills, how much more can I fake.

You've become so good at fooling everyone, afraid this circle of lies will all come undone.

I love those kids even more then I love myself so why can't I just stop, look what it's done to my health.

My teeth are messed up along with my back, could I have felt this pain before and not let it get this bad???

And what about my children will I pass this curse on to them, like my father has done to me, it's like the thorn on a roses stem.

You think it's beautiful and there is nothing like it, once you pick it and get pricked it's just so hard to fight it.

Every problem, every tear, 1st thing you run to to conquer the fear.

It's just in your head all day long, you pray and pray for it just to be gone.

It's like everything in your body says screw it lets go, but your heart & your head are screaming NO! NO! NO!

Today was a tough one, but yes I made it thro one day at a time is all any of us can do.

It scares me to think I'll have this disease for the rest of my life, and give it to my children is like a double edged knife.

I would rather leave them motherless then to make them feel this pain, I wouldn't wish it on anyone because it's their family who has to pay.

It doesn't affect just one person, but the entire family & community, One puff, one toke, one sniff, one hit, you feel it through the whole city.

If I could tell my 16 year old self just one bit of advice Just walk away, don't look back you will lose if you roll those dice, Put them down it's not a game! This is the rest of your Life!

Please Spirit I beg my children will learn from the mistakes that I have made They are so strong & smart I don't think my heart could bare to watch them fade.

Please give me the strength to do what is right for myself and my family, don't let me go back to all that numbness & negativity.

Sincerely, A Recovering Addict who now has over 10 years clean Laurie Chambers