I find my birthday a blessing and a curse.
Another year of being alive.
And contemplating if I’m dead inside.
In the first few lights of the hour,
I am feeling a great sense of power.
A live in the moments and the blessed feel
Of how I’ve managed to stick around
And love the adventures I’ve been on.
I see the past adventures under the sun,
And smile at how lucky I must be.
To hold so many dear and near to me.
And I go to bed in happy thoughts,
To f in d the next morning a sorrow filled pot.
The light dimmed and the moment fades.
My brain begins to ask such different things
Why aren’t we at certain milestones?
No house, no partner, no kids or retirement.
Piles of debt.
I feel like some Jane Austin heroine
No hope, no prospects, just burdens.
It frazzled my brain,
And drives me closer to insane.
If I was a women in 1960
Is likely be lobotomized,
To end such misery.
And well I appreciate my full brain.
Day by day I watch the world
Wind up time backwards
And I wonder….
Will the debt pull me under?
Will food fall from my table
Is my debt the thing that takes away my account?
I worry that I’ve built a life that fights for some justification that I’m a failure
A dirty poor women,
In need of saving.
And yet I wish someone would save me…
Or have taught me to save myself.
But this world is losing its tools for me.
And I am becoming some anomilty
About the Creator
Lane Burns
I am a Poet and an inspiring short story, one day novel writer.
I like to write in free verse mostly, but am heavily inspired by Emily Dickenson, and tend to create my own rules and ideas as well.
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Comments (1)
A real rollercoaster of emotions! Love how you blend moments of power with those heavy doubts. It’s got depth and a bit of a relatable vibe, like we all have those “what’s next?” thoughts. Keep rocking it!