Somebody Stole My Shoes

Somebody jacked my shoes.

Who? I haven't got a clue.

Somebody jacked my shoes.

They better hope I don't find out who.

Somebody jacked my shoes.

I might just teach them a thing or two.

Somebody jacked my shoes.

I wasn't the only one this happened to.

...

Grand Theft Auto

GTA

This should not have happened. This is not okay.

As you can tell, even with the replacements, it's hard for me to let this go.

Why? Because I work in an environment where my shoes need to have a hard-toe.

My company gave me a slip form, a deposit

To either get either steel toe or composite

The box's still in my closet

Somebody stole to sell, trying to make a profit

...

The first day I came back to work with a new haircut, a new hairdo

The 2nd day I clocked in to missing both, the left and right shoe

I saw others that were similar to mine for one purposeful goal

I checked the others similar to mine; I checked their size, wear, and even their soles

...

My shoes were stolen, removed from their place

This slight against me is a terrible disgrace

I've been so mad if I ever met the thief face-to-face

I'd probably kick their butt so hard, I'd break my hard toes and need my shoes replaced

...

They better hope to be caught by the company and showed the door then

'Cause if I catch them, I might just turn into Red Forman

...

I can see the thief being a shoe artist, covering my boots in graffiti

Man, I'm pretty mad that somebody jacked my Lamborfeeties

The person who stole my shoes just dug their own grave

I'll give them a piece of my mind for stealing my Chevrolegs

They better not try to weasel out, and start back pedallin' by talkin'

I'm headed to HR just cause somebody thieved my Volkswalkins

Yeah, I'm angry, so I'll use my writing as a second voice

Yeah, I'm pissed off cause somebody stole my Strolls Royce

They took my shoes from my labeled cubby thinking it be eazy

They got another thing coming if they can make away with my Mercyeezy's

I swear, people who take from others without need must be a different species

I hope they get more than a reprimanding for stealing everyone else's Feetsubishis

Somebody took my shoes cause they're trying to fill a quota

Even with replacements, I'm upset that somebody went and stole my Toeyatas

The person who stole my shoes, did something and is pretty rude

They just made me the acronym of FORD, Foot On Road Dude

...

I still have my old work boots that have lasted for years

I scribbled my name on them all over, stating their my property, making it clear

Lowkey the thief been stealing nice shoes left and right, like it's a new stimmy

From Reeboks, to Dr. Martens, and even my Timmies

Next they'll be after Red Wings, New Balance, and Utility:Keen

I betchu' this person would've give a second thought to stealing Wolverines

...

Yeah, I've been upset so what do I gain?

Hopefully writing about it can help others laugh at my pain

My supervisors already laughed when I told them the jokes

Heck, I'd figured why not make it into a poem and share it with more folks

My coworker was like, "Damn man, that sucks, those shoes were brand new too."

Let's make sure to check in with security for the camera's point of view

Yeah, you can get new shoes, you can get replacements, and make with haste

Yet, when it comes to your stuff getting stolen from you it can still leave a bitter taste

Even the supervisors are investigating into the five finger discount

Hoping to catch sticky fingers red-handed, and charge them with the full dollar amount

Either way I hope that justice gets served

Yeah, it's a small thing, but small offences should be treated with what they deserve

In all honesty, I thought about writing the blues

But in the end, I'm just like everybody else and needs to work with a good pair of shoes