Sidewinder

I too shall be heartless,

I'm always left in a mess.

Finding truth in the shadows,

and light within the lies.

For years I was the one you chose,

your ever loving prize.

I remember the day each of you looked in my eyes,

and obviously felt nothing.

As if true love always dies,

and I shouldn't have been so trusting.

Now we've become distant and grown apart,

the flames of passion have grown cold.

Miles from the love we shared at the start,

this story is starting to grow really old.

My chest is heavy with every reminder that I love with my all,

just to have all that love turn into a sidewinder,

and slam my heart against the wall.

How could you let something so strong just fade away?

After all the times you betrayed me and I promised to stay?

So much stolen time,

so scarred from trusting you,

you turned on a dime,

now I'll turn loveless too.

So it won't happen again to me,

if I can choose not to love.

Then what do I happen to see,

like lightning from above?

We collide on lateral roads,

having both felt that burn.

Having been in the same boats,

having felt that same yearn.

Now you all have done and did it,

yeah you pissed me off big time.

We're both full off so much quit,

it's a heartbreaking crime.

I wonder what could have been,

every time I touch his skin.

This passion has yet to end,

the love is yet to begin.

What's not to love about him?

I kind of always have.

I'm free to indulge my sin,

I can live and laugh.

But there you two are,

like hurricanes tearing through our limits.

Leaving behind a large scar,

where our very bitter trust exists.

Now this sweet, funny man invades my mind,

as I daydream of staring into his eyes as we roll around his bed.

He's strong, protective and yet kind,

funny and stubborn to the end.

But I know I can't have this,

so I enjoy him while I can.

All I wanted was peaceful, loving bliss,

with this exact quality of man.

And we were both thrown under buses,

punished for giving it our all.

My love life didn't have many pluses,

it came to an early crawl.

He's so handsome inside and out, tan and strong,

He's the perfect height, he touches me like a queen and I'm shocked.

Although I'm sure our time together won't last long,

he's left my world completely rocked.

He makes me want to risk it all again for

the passionate sex, the intimacy, and his intellect.

It could be pure and fun.

I would nurture the man who brings me his heart rather than neglect.

He would be my one.

But the story of my life and my heart,

is starting to become hysterical.

A simple loving part,

is starting to look like it'll be a miracle.

For the first time ever,

I want this and I don't need it.

And I can honestly say I will never,

let anyone take a bow for making me quit.

I still have hope,

and a secret desire.

Will someday we both decide we can cope,

will he reach out that extra mile?

Each time I feel more in his kiss,

or I feel us more deeply connect.

I don't want to stop doing this,

I don't want this to get wrecked.

So after more than twenty years of doing this wrong,

I meet back up with you.

Now I fear it won't be long,

that I'll be missing you too.