Seren

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Seren means "star" in Welsh.

...

A curled shell of thought

Unfurling with the weight of things

Ghosts in my head

Ghosts in the air

A fresh handprint on my heart

Clouds of midges

A dank pond and a spilling over drain

The smell of decay

Too green, rank green

I miss him so much

Even when he is close

A wall, a mile

An ocean in the way

Sadness so deep it has a taste

Chasing the exclamation point of joy

Grieving for someone who is right there

He is five steps from me

Laid out like a butchered rabbit

Locked in a windowless room

If I could but smash those walls

And let in the sunshine

I would

What would I not do?

Many things, I fear

I thrash between skins

A hypocrite

An angel

A sycophant

A monster

A spinning wheel that never stops

The night has laid a hand on me

The dog sleeps and this grief sweeps in

A starry sea

A nostalgic taste, that sadness

A sticky patina on my hands

Skin sweet and hard as toffee

I am a lost lamb in a fairy tale

A lost wolf on the edge of the wilderness

Alone with the sad, breathing walls

Alone with the galaxy

The stars and night dust, the sleek dusky moonstone

Crack my teeth on these rocky months

Unfold into layers of pain and promise, loop again

Freak

Lover

Seren high above

I watch you, and love you

And I wish to be here, but I wish a different texture

Beer soaked

Failing light

The night groans and settles

Broken edges in the dark

Come back to me.