Secret Suicide Note

Don't worry I wrote this a long time ago. But I think it's important to address mental health concerns and if you can relate to anything I ever write then I feel as a writer I'm doing good. Plus I did promise you some incoherent rambling... So here it is! :)

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i cannot lose one more thing

i'm out of belts, pulleys

& there's not enough string.

i feel the carousel slowing down

slower, slowing even more

too slow to grab the ring.

Get up?

Stay down?

Step off, stay where i'm at ?

how can a forward

movement just

RESTART

RESET

and RETURN?

even a speeding bullet

can't manage to do that.

if i close my eyes

will i feel safe again?

are you still my friend?

the same one that

we've all so adored

or is it too late?

is this old and tired?

have you grown

so very bored?

can a train wreck

ever really be fully

RESTORED?

Addendum:

were we ever

a speeding bullet?

was the train

really going that fast?

are all walls really

Crumbling?

or do you think

maybe

they started out

strong enough?

i mean

were they always

built strong enough

to last

to survive a day

not unlike a

BLAST?

you tell me

should i

STAY

GO

RESTART

or

FLEE?

i'm so tired.

i don't know

what to say or do.

maybe I should

just leave it all

up to you...?

Secret finale:

and here's the part

you didn't see

cause i just can't

let you down

i don't want to

hurt you,

make you cry,

or even frown.

but if we find

there is no hope

Thank God

i saved just enough

ROPE!

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If you like this feel free to BUY me a Coffee (Okay a 2 liter of coke since I hate Coffee!)