sometimes i'm still in my mother's hospice bed,
stroking her hair and holding her hand, smelling the sickness.
i could smell her death, you know? smell it coming.
between the catheter and hepatic drain, you would think it would have been a ghastly odor.
instead
a faintly vanilla scent wafted through alcohol and antiseptic, covering any other potential stench.
if you got close enough, though, as i often did, you could make out what was behind the sweetness: her putrid breath.
a liver failing. a body decaying rapidly. the smell of organic matter. meat. rotten.
i tried to get rid of it. to fill her empty stomach and coax her back to the living.
i ordered her favorite smoothie and tried putting a small drop on her tongue. it slid down her lips and chin until i wiped it away with my sleeve.
i remember she died not long after that. 5/2/20, 18:19.
the mortician took her body within the hour.
carelink took the bed and medical equipment the next day.
the untouched smoothie stayed in the fridge for several weeks.
About the Creator
kp
I am a non-binary, trans-masc writer. I work to dismantle internalized structures of oppression, such as the gender binary, class, and race. My writing is personal but anecdotally points to a larger political picture of systemic injustice.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Comments (22)
Congratulations on your win!
Congratulations 👏🎉 Good work This is like a 😲
Many congratulations, kp. This is immense.
So emotional and vivid. Congratulations, KP, on your win in this challenge!👏
so very deserving of your win. congrats.
Super congrats to you, kp! This one really brought out feelings. A great example of the power of words. So sorry for your loss. So happy for your win!
You can write with the best of them. I am proud of you for writing such a brave piece. I hope it proved cathartic. Well done on taking a winning spot, congrats! Happy for you.
Beautifully relevant for me in a personal way. Hospice for eight months. Funeral last week. Thank you. 🌿🍁🍂
Wooohooooo congratulations on your win! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
👏 🔥
Congratulations on the win!!🎉🎉🎉
The untouched smoothie. what a powerful and present reminder. congratulations of your well-deserved recognition in The Way I see it
I feel like sending out a hug... TS, indeed! 🏆
COngrats on the top story. It was very moving.
Congratulations on your Top Story 🎉🥳
What a stunning poem. This was so raw and painfully visceral. How you described the smell of death being almost pleasant from a distance but rancid and sickening up close really struck me in particular. I think it’s so very human to want to rid our loved ones of the danger of it, which made the smoothie imagery so especially poignant. It reminded me of the ways in which we distract ourselves from the terrible hovering realities we must come to face, in trying to refuse that death and that pain and that hurt for the sake of those we love. I’m deeply sorry for your loss, kp.
Wow. This brought back such vivid memories of my last moments with my grandmother. The imagery is so powerful. Beautiful and sad, well done.
What a poem. Potent, powerful, and painful. Congrats on the Top Story, well-deserved!
the words, the thoughts the images that linger in the after, sting as if they were new....this touched me so deeply
Compelling and moving. Thank you.
kp, this was so honest in its depiction. Sorry for your loss. I'm with Sandy. That image of the smoothie is an unlikely symbol of loss but potent.
I think that heartbreaking image of the untouched smoothie will really stay with me. Thanks for sharing something so personal.