Running Out of Excuses for Every Beat

Tell me, which face shall I wear first?

The one everyone sees –

savage writer, Newark’s finest author

With tons of accomplishments?

Some think he’s already rich, is he gettin’ paid to make those appearances?

Man, he’s such a god, uh I mean genius

How about the face dat’ no one ever sees?

The face that has crust ridden all over it

With eyes redder than Clifford, puffy like Kirby

Either it’s from the high or the result of crying all day long

I hold my deepest transgressions behind it all

He’s using a lot of foul language

Acting emotionless and distant, thinkin’ he needs no one

Lyin’ dry whenever I’m telling you that I don’t want to be bothered

I just want someone who’ll listen and bring me peace of mind

Not a mentality for war

I’m fighting all sorts of them, some of which you didn’t kno’ were wars

Is it why I always smoke marijuana?

Just to hide from my inner Dalmatians

Should have never let them dogs out in the first place

Damn, depression has returned?

Here we go with this shit again

Livin’ life as if it were a recession

I stare at the page yet my pen doesn’t move at all

The words for how I feel are within me but nothing manifests whatsoever

So I’m stuck in this loop

Not havin’ the ability to produce, it’s part of my purpose

What would I do without it, how could I be able to live?

What will I do once that spark dissipates

Losin’ every stroke of inspiration I’ve worked so tirelessly to obtain

Put in all this effort to handwrite every poem in this rap anthology

Only for people to overlook it, not lettin’ my words resonate into their brains fully

Only to be stalked on social media incessantly, your followers aren’t even followers anymore

Everyone’s comparing their lives to yours

They want you to be better but never better than them

Agents in disguise, self-worth?

What is that?

A bit foreign in my book,

which one you talking about?

I make excuses as much as I write

Don’t this gotta stop at some point now?

I’m running out of them, check the tank

It’s damn near empty

Feel me?