Ruminations

I hold resilience through me, but it dissolves almost every time

My body and mind seem so familiar to this but not at the same time

So I...

Desperately search for that everywhere I go, to one day feel full in my belly with an idea that I can carry the load

A constant trick to the mind and soul

Nothing stays the same

Nothing can be completely full

But I will do anything for it

Even if it means I carry others as well

Ripping apart of myself to allow other people to feel full, I’m left starving

Never for me, but for you instead

Closer and closer to disappearance.

A place I know

A place that was never unfamiliar.

The slime that seeps through my brain

The gunk I hold

The gunk I cover

Where does it all go?

In the end, will my grip still be so tight?

The movement I feel under me

Takes me on a ride.

I’m standing in the middle of myself

The sways amongst my body are controlled by me

So strong to the feet

So free with the air

After the long hard fight with myself

This is the rest I search for.

To feel like the world has gone quiet around you

Just makes you finally realize you’re a part of it.

I was here for you

Through the generosity of my body.

An exchange I made for the burden of your pain

I was there and closer to you then ever

Only I was to know, since I was the one to pay

With the limp in my heart

But the courage in my gut

The cost was my spirit.

Friends look like me

Sharing the same breath but the difference is there.

We look into one another

Seeking to understand a journey.

They all possess one

While my anticipation to start is in me.

I can get hungry for it.

Clenching my teeth to hear more

Feeling my skin rise

Pushing up from the root

The illusion of fear and the arousal of nerves

Go on

I like being provoked.

Take my hands and make them hug my ears

With more pressure, I’ll just wash out.

What’s in front of me is no longer anything,

I won’t listen for once.

To all the nature

That stays the same while my beauty changes,

Your dense trees, soaked leaves, abundant clouds

Intertwine with my series of memories, and views of the past

Never did I once take the chance to look at them.

I Do Not Own Any Images In This Collection, Thank you for reading <3