Rose with the thousand thorns

She rose from her desk to look for her notepad

A deep voice startled her, introducing himself as Chad

She responded a bit shaky, but she had maintained her composure she was glad

He had joined the firm recently

Had been coming in frequently

Confidently he continued the introductions

She liked his assertiveness and playful seduction

Hadn’t seen her around much, he questioned, smilingly,

But to her, it sounded a bit conceitedly

She was away she responded nervously

Why was she acting nervous, she thought to herself, fixing her hair consciously?

But then she walked away abruptly, wanting to create an immediate distance

That’s when for the first time she felt the intuitive conflict, the pull & the resistance

She didn’t know it would become a part of her story, her existential existence

They almost bumped into each other, there was this magnetic pull again

She tried to brush the feeling but in vain

It took longer than normal to step away for both

What is this bull? she muttered with a mouthful of oaths

She felt this intense vibe on her back

Only to see him staring at her when she was munching on her afternoon snack

She looked away blushing

The heat from her body came gushing

Within a minute he strode up to her

Stood extra close to her, making her face a red blur

She felt even more embarrassed wondering, why she was acting like a teenager?

After a couple of refusals, she agreed to have lunch in company café

All her attempts to deny the attraction seemed futile to her dismay

After months of pursuing, the relationship began triggered by intense chemistry

Even though they knew an office romance was a boo in their industry

Her heart was full of joy because being with him felt like home

Not knowing she was falling for an irresistible charmer with a narcissistic syndrome

He would look at her as if he wanted to devour

She was often left bewildered as to how could she let him hold such power?

She finally understood what it meant by being ‘madly in love’

He became her priority, everything else she gave a shove

She loved every inch, part, the smell of him accepting his behavior which seemed unpredictable

Somewhere within her, she felt he was almost unreliable

But she ignored the red flags, convinced herself of their love for each other

The rest of it shouldn’t be a bother

In the years that followed, she dived in to serve his every need on a silver platter

But every time she would want him to reciprocate her equally, or even partially, her expectations would shatter

It always seemed to be his way, his choices, his preferences

It would somehow become her fault for asking too much. He was always armed with perfect defenses

Every time she asked for some consideration towards her needs and wants

He would somehow emerge the victim, the poor male being subjected to feminine creeds

Her requests were deemed demands

Trying to grasp or make sense of anything started to get out of her hands

She began to crash when he often labeled her ‘crazy’

Everything around her started to get hazy

She still felt a love for him that was so strong

But it began to hit her, that that was the nagging feeling that she had been ignoring all along

He was adept at the art of manipulation

He knew how to use silence and ghosting to bring her to the point of emotional starvation

She began to think she was losing her mind

The duality of her seeking him for his strength but simultaneously fighting his ways that were so unkind

It was slowly bringing her to the point of breakdown

As if she was in a bad circus show with her puling weird tricks like a circus clown

The push & pull, the love & hate, the breakup & the makeup made her mind go in circles

It was like clockwork, them repeating those fatal cycles

Where she was thrown into the ring without any rehearsals

Years of this pain left her lifeless and broken

By this intense grief unspoken

She gradually began to pick up pieces of herself that she had left with him

Fighting for the chances of survival that seemed slim

But she managed to pull herself together with therapy and healing

The disrespect, the shaming, the loss of esteem layer by layer she kept unpeeling

She ignited the fire of her confidence and power within

Filled her cup with self-love, forgiveness for her ignorance to the brim

She realized sadly that love isn’t enough

Self- love, strong boundaries in any relationship have to be up to snuff

He threw venom at her because venom is what he had inside

His trauma had taught him to put his feelings aside

He came into her life to trigger her shadows

To push her until her dormant self-esteem and nonexistent boundaries arose

She had to recognize his purpose

If he hadn’t poked, squeezed, and pushed, those feelings wouldn’t have come to the surface

She forgave him for the role he played in her life

But she made sure to cut cords with him with the sharpest knife

She began to rise to her full power

Making sure to never again be a prey for the unhealed to devour

She healed those parts of her that needed him, unleashed the wounded warrior

And worked diligently to emerge Victorious

Her story may be full of pain and heartbreak, but it also would be one of the most GLORIOUS

It would also be one of the most glorious!!