Respect vs. Deceptive Love

Love can be deceptive. Someone might treat you well—kiss you, buy you delicious food, give you expensive gifts. These seemingly good things might be love, or they might not. This person could be using you as a toy for entertainment, with their efforts simply the cost of their fun, a cost they're willing to bear. They might also view you as property, an extension of their "sense of ownership." In fact, you might just be a tool for them to escape boredom and distract themselves from life.

Therefore, you can never truly know the motive behind overtures labeled as "love." This is the deceptiveness of love: it's often mixed with too much desire, dependence, compensation, and demands.

But respect is much simpler. It isn't about sex or money, nor is it about satisfying some emotional void. Its essence lies in seeing the value of a person's "existence." The respect I'm talking about isn't the false awe brought on by power, which is merely submission to status, not a true affirmation of the individual.

True respect is a kind of "seeing" from the heart. It doesn't require material proof or behavior to please; you don't even need to please anyone. Respect is your ideal world, where there's resonance and recognition from others. It's a projection, but without utilitarianism; it's a kind of understanding without control.

Every instance of respect is the most sincere affirmation of individuality. True love should also be built on such a foundation, because any love or respect that doesn't "see" the individual isn't true love or respect.

However, when people often mention "love," what they want isn't "to love" but "to be loved." Being loved is, of course, happiness. But if we pin our happiness on being loved, we'll slowly lose our connection with the world. "To love" is our way of actively connecting with the world; such love expands our spiritual space, making us more resilient and free.

If we desire to be loved too much, we become dependent and weak. To keep love, we might even sacrifice our dignity and ourselves, ultimately losing our individuality and the value of our own existence.

True love is always based on respect. It's a relationship where you are fully seen and fully acknowledged. You don't have to please others or act; you just have to be yourself. Respect is more like love than love itself, because the nature of true love and respect is about seeing each other and completing each other, rather than consuming each other.

Thank you for reading!