Emotional Dependence: A Silent Terror

Good morning and good night every day, immediate replies to messages, constant availability, responses to your every word, and delightful conversations. What might start as pleasant interactions can gradually lead to a profound realization: you're becoming dependent on this feeling. I call this emotional dependence.

While financial independence might seem straightforward, achieving spiritual independence is far more challenging. Once we surrender our independence, our emotions often become fragile and susceptible. When someone invests a little more time in you, engages in frequent chats, and responds promptly, this consistent attention and companionship can slowly draw you in, making it increasingly difficult to break free.

You begin to feel a connection, and the other person continues to provide this warm, consistent affirmation. At this point, your emotions are no longer truly yours; they are held in the hands of the other person. Each day, your mood and thoughts will fluctuate because of them. You'll fret over perceived gains and losses, completely losing control of your emotional state.

What's truly frightening is this kind of mental dependence. Sometimes, we cling to seemingly unhealthy relationships, not because of deep love, but because we've become profoundly reliant on them. This dependence gradually makes them the pillar of your life; you desire their presence in everything. You start to believe that only with them can you feel safe and secure.

However, even if they stop caring about you or become indifferent and unwilling to do anything for you, you remain bound by this sense of dependence, unable to let go easily. You understand they can no longer offer any substantial support, yet you endure the hurt, falling into one hopeless cycle after another.

The thought of losing or leaving them can plunge you into deep anxiety and unease, as if the air has been sucked out of your whole body, leaving you feeling utterly suffocated. You'll discover that this emotional dependence gradually strips you of your sovereignty—your emotions become entirely dictated by them. You are no longer entirely yourself but a part of them. Your feelings and reactions are no longer under your control but are influenced by their words and actions. This is truly horrifying.

Even more frightening is the realization that despite knowing this emotional dependence is draining your energy and self-esteem, you feel powerless, watching yourself descend step by step into an abyss. You allow yourself to fall into this vicious cycle, becoming increasingly self-loathing.

To break free from this situation, we must overcome the "entrustment mentality" and avoid viewing anyone or anything as our sole spiritual sustenance. In this world, many things can be replaced, and everything has its expiration date. Reduce dependence, lower expectations. You must be your own mountain and your own strongest support.

I hope we can encourage each other and be brave enough to be the masters of our own emotions.

Thank you for reading!