Recognize My Strengths

You are strong

When I need you.

Perhaps placed here

To open a jar or two,

To help where I fall short,

And the world praises you for that.

But my body

My hips,

My womanhood,

Push out our children

And that is all the strength

That the world recognizes me for.

It is not the strength that women put on display everyday to simply exist in a man’s world and fight for their rightful places

It is not the strength that women find to love themselves when the world pushes beauty standards and make them feel disgusted about their bodies

It is not the strength that black women and people of color find to live boldly in who they are and stand up for themselves in the face of stereotypes

It is not the strength that I had to assert when men and self-loathing women tell me that I am not strong enough to accomplish something yet I still do

It is not the strength that my mother possessed to raise three children as a single parent and have all of us go far in life

It is not the strength that I had to find within myself when I suffered from depression and self-harm to finally seek help

It is not the strength that I force myself to find and endure when I step out into the world and my anxiety is gripping me that day

That is recognized.

Instead it is my strength, our strength to be a container for a child.

And I abhor the world for it.

The world views us as if we were the proverbial stork delivering babies to the world. Then we are made to suffer in our doubts and raise children, more often than not, alone.

We could use your strength but the world only recognizes you as a breadwinner. Step out of line and you are suddenly father of the year.

Praised for what women everywhere do everyday.

Your strength once again placed on a pedestal and magnified as if you’ve done something grand.

And it isn’t the strength after the birth that women must possess with patience to raise your child that is recognized.

It’s you and you’ve merely opened a jar.