The Change I’m After

I take a glance at myself in the mirror

Examining myself exhaustively

Scrutinizing the way I’m shaped

Inspecting the folds and layers of myself

And I’m never pleased or satisfied by the way I appear.

You can change it, so, change it.

My minds eye poses the idea to me

Acting as the only logical support amid the dissatisfaction percolating out of my actual eyes.

Yes, I can change it.

So, I will but it will nonetheless be a taxing challenge.

Now this isn’t self-pity no, not in the least

If it was not worth enduring the challenge, then it would not be worth it at all.

But I would be remiss if I suggested that on this journey towards change I have been copiously positive.

Time after time I caught myself in the mirror holding absolute animosity towards the very body that houses my soul.

Again and again I caught myself eating and suddenly feeling repulsed by the very thing that is meant to nourish my body.

Time and Again.

Amid this journey towards change I have changed.

Not outwardly but inwardly.

This was not the change that I wanted but it was necessary.

It has allowed me to take a step back

Wonder why I feel this way

How I can continue towards a healthier change

One where I do no wish to depart from the body that houses my soul

And one where I feel at home in the body granted to me.

Maybe that is truly the change I’m after

The one where I love myself in the end

In spite of everything else.

Self-love is the key.