Rebound.

As I sit, trying to find, trying to sum

Our memories into one,

But the layers keep unfolding,

Tugging at something deep, pulling me into the mix.

Everything about you reminds me of me,

And I don’t want to be self-centered—

God knows I try. I don’t want to make this about me,

But ever since I opened my eyes to the world

And my consciousness broke free,

I’ve heard my heartbeat alongside yours.

_____

For a moment, I thought we were the same,

That we were cut from the same cloth,

Sent to earth hand in hand, to support one another.

Surely that’s what He meant when He gave Eve to Adam?

____

Everyone definitely comes alongside a companion

And mine was my sister, my twin.

Who’s somehow two years older,

But it didn’t matter; I never cared to fill the space.

Little me in Bible study, lost in mysticality,

Thought this was how it was meant to be.

____

Similar growth spurts, learning curves,

Surely we were made to stick together.

I couldn’t have come here alone, right?

Until the ties severed, the cords unraveled,

And the days revealed gaps my heart couldn’t cross.

____

This same tug I feel now whilst searching for the words,

Feels like the one that pulled little me—

The me who realized too late our differences,

How we’d be torn apart in the middle.

Your start was never mine, right?

______

You were in the race long before I began,

And you unloosen easily while I stay stuck…..

—_

I’m unable to start over from the middle.

Cut strings lay scattered at the beginning

Leaving me in the shadows of what I thought I knew.

_____

Now I’m doing a crash course,

Learning all the parts of life I leaned too hard on you for—

Skipping parts, expecting someone else to fill them—

Nothing but a fever dream.

_____

But I’m grateful. Grateful to rebound before life’s end.

_____

Now, the tug doesn’t pull at past events, quarrels, wounds,

Or the tangled knots of dependency.

It pulls at the heartstrings still connected from the start.

_______

Even though I’ve changed course,

And life unfolds differently, maybe without you,

Our hearts remain bound from the beginning to the end.

It can’t be broken, you see—

_____

For this reason our end must come together,

at least for me…..,

I could leave first and you next…

But i need to see you beside me as i snap at death.

___

If you leave, if I can’t feel you near,

I fear I’ll snap, burst into pieces.

______

Yes, we may walk separate lines now,

Yet the tight tugging remains,

Regardless of distance, boundaries, conflict—

Perhaps even more in those moments.

_____

No….. Not to snap,

Even with all its might of the fight—

But to rebound,

Bringing us back together.

Till the very end.