Put On My Face

Be brave, be cool, be kind.

Don’t let them see what’s on my mind.

I must have been about five or six,

That’s when I started performing my tricks.

I learned to be cautiously discreet,

I learned to stay light on my feet,

Dance around lying and schemes,

Sad as it seems, hide all my dreams.

Who would I be,

If I could be,

Truly, honestly me?

What could I achieve

If I let myself believe,

I don’t have to deceive.

Instead I just put on my face.

Apathy is my hiding place.

Blank face, blank eyes, blank stare,

I can’t let them know how much I care.

A smile, a laugh, a joke,

Fake joy wrapped around like a cloak.

No tears, no cries, no grief,

Got to keep all my feelings brief.

These are the masks I wear,

To hide what makes me scared,

And all the pain I bear.

But what could I do,

If I say, “Enough, I’m through”

With hiding what’s true?

But I will not.

I won’t stir the pot.

This life was hard-fought.

I won’t risk what I’ve got.

Maybe one day I’ll be caught,

Not hiding like I ought.

They’ll strike from my blindspot,

Then leave me to die and rot.

Fake it ‘til you make it, so they say.

They don’t warn about the price to pay,

Of forcing everything to stay,

In its current, easy way.

Maybe one day,

I’ll finally get away,

Be brave and convey,

All the feelings I don’t say.

But for now these are the masks I wear,

All smiles, no tears, don’t care.

Make sure no one’s aware.

Keep my thoughts elsewhere.

All the feelings I forswear,

Don’t show them anywhere.