Pterodactyl Stand-Up
Know When You're Out of Your Era
"I just flew in from the Cretaceous period... and boy are my arms tired!"
Is this thing working? Is this thing on?
"I tried to get a job as an undercover spy, but they said the wings were too memorable, so (gimme a break!) I couldn't get hired!"
They wouldn't have said it to a mastodon!
~
"I thought this was the circus and I'd ride the {HA!} carn-i-vore!"
I know that you hear me, Hey- yeah you! You blinked!
"You might as well give in- I've got a hundred more!"
Wow! I'm not just dying here- I'm already extinct.
~
"I'm not who you thought I'd be, not one you know best."
Why do they always want to see T Rex?
"But now that I'm here, you wanna pet my crest?"
Between the two of us I've got the most impressive pecs.
~
"Thanks for having me, happy to be here, folks!"
To see me up close they'd need to go to Bavaria.
"I'll work on my routine and get better jokes."
Why am I always left out of the Dino-hysteria?!
~~~
This is a submission for the Vocal Poemosaurus Rex Challenge. Find out more here:
About the Creator
Judey Kalchik
It's my time to find and use my voice.
Poetry, short stories, memories, and a lot of things I think and wish I'd known a long time ago.
You can also find me on Medium
And please follow me on Threads, too!
Keep reading
More stories from Judey Kalchik and writers in Poets and other communities.
Where's the Glory?
In breaking news, rehabilitated Republican Senator Johnnie Johnson (Pronouns: HE, HIM, HIS) called a press conference from the Men’s room of the New Orleans Louis Armstrong International Airport, Concourse B, across from the Ignatius Reilly’s Lucky Dog stand. The Senator had just returned from a sexual reorientation rehabilitation program in Memphis, TN after being publically disgraced at a Buckee’s Truckstop restroom soliciting sex from an undercover cop three months ago. He is a founding member of the Reformed Christians for Christ, a conservative, pro-family and ex-gay advocacy group. In the spirit of being reborn, Senator Johnson invited reporters to marvel at his plans for a major remodeling of airport bathrooms.
By Cathy Schieffelin5 days ago in Humor
Comments (21)
So glad you put this through for the dialogue challenge too!
bahahahaha
Great entry such a unique creative take! You gave me more than a couple chuckles
I was laughing so hard at the opening line I had to read this twice. The visuals alone are worth the read
When I read things like this, it makes me wish I was more creative. Great take on the challenge theme, Judey. Did you mean for your dinosaur to sound like Rodney Dangerfield, because that's the voice I was hearing in my head?
Seeee. I read your haiku and then read this gem. So funny - total dad jokes galore lol! Thank you and well done, Judey...I could envision a Pterodactyl in some back-end comedy club doing a five-min bit. lol.
Love your humorous 🦕 poem!!!💕❤️❤️
I never knew all of the dino names b4. Learning so much has been a hoot. This is like all of us on Vocal, all wanting to be the big cheese. So very like us were the dinosaurs.
Hahahahahahahhaha this was so freaking hilarious! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😄👏 …”boy are my arms tired!" Lolz.
So true...we often overlook those prehistoric cranes....all of those creatures tend to freak me out, so I avoid thinking about them. Loved your humor
So funny, Judey! "Already extinct." Ha! That's a knee slapper, that is!!
This works and you will be laughing when it gets its deserved Top Story
Made me lol -- and not at the dino-loubge act jokes! By the way, in prepping for this challenge, I was quite surprised to learn that technically pterodactyls are not dinosaurs but flying reptiles. Of course this piece still qualifies (and then some) for the challenge.
Tough crowd...makes me understand why species become extinct... 🥁
Hahah! Love how cheesy all these were!! Great work here Judey!!
What a delightful start to my day 💛! I especially love the interjections… I liked his jokes & much prefer him to Rex!🤩✅
‘j’ - Do you offer Fly-Away airport shuttle bus Car-ni-Vore snacks.. ‘j’
Delightful, loved it!
Haha. This is great. What a unique take on the challenge.
perfect, I love it.