Pit of pride

I think about his face. Then I think about him touching me, and how I felt in the moment. I think about how I would get sad in the middle of sex. I think about how used I felt. I didn’t know what to think. I felt such a strong connection to this man, I barely knew. However he quickly knew that he didn’t want anything more with me, than to hookup. I was naive. I think I pushed reality to the side in my head, until the reality took hold, and I was suddenly encased with flames. My reality became a pit of all my regrets, we all were scorched. That’s just the thing, when something is being hidden for so long, it’s revelation, burns everyone. Lose/lose for everyone. At least now I’m not the only one suffering. What a terrible thing to say, but my broken pride might say otherwise.