emotional, why? I feel like I can be more
procrastinating, but hoping to do more
a never ending cycle of do's and don'ts
this is hard as hell I won't front
It's like I'm in second grade, rules to be told
what's holding me back, I'm 24 years old
I'm not getting any younger, that's the emotional part
can't do anything if I'm constantly falling apart
thoughts of, "you should be more like them or her..."
"you're not a real woman..."
"I'm scared to have kids..."
"my passions come and go..."
"I want to break the cycle..."
Willpower.
but it only lasts for an hour
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Day 4 of Quitting
If this is how sobriety feels, maybe it’s better to go through life a little buzzed… this, along with other hits like, I want to kill myself, I wish I was dead, and I’m going to throw myself off a bridge have been the only thoughts on rotation these past few days. I promise myself that if, in a month, I still feel like this (‘this’ meaning despondent, full of rage, and simultaneously numb) I can go back to smoking. Until mid-February though? Nicotine is off the table.
By sleepy drafts6 days ago in Longevity
Comments (1)
I like this. It’s thought provoking. Gotta reciprocate the love.