Parasite

You plant a seed of shame

You slip it in my food

Like poison for the brain

Like gossip for the brood

And then a decade runs

And passes like a blink

Shame creeps around my neck

Before I've time to think

Before I've time to see

That it is even there

Like ghosts inside my mind

Vines tangle through my hair

How could I miss the threat?

How could I be so blind?

It seems I lost the bet

Before I lost my mind

The seed you planted once

Has lifeblood of its own

Its fingers in my mouth

Its spirit in my bones

And once a foreign presence

Is now a timely guest

It has its own agenda

It has its own address

Or has my own address?

For my body's not my own

My life is not my life

My home is not my home

Yet I have got to live

To host the parasite

Sustenance to feed it

And breath to give it life

When did I stop becoming

A country of my own?

When did I stop becoming

The place that I call home?

Now there's an eco-system

That needs me to survive

I feel obliged to carry on

I guess I must survive

If my reason for living

Is not my very self

My purpose for surviving

Is found in someone else